3 Keys for Overwhelmed Pastors
A life in vocational ministry will never be a simple 9-5 job, clean and clear office hours, and free weekends. It is more like a dynamic "17/7" job, where you can expect to get around 7 hours of sleep from the time that demands wind down to the time that your phone, email, and calendar erupt with people and tasks. You’ll take vacations, you’ll have some sacred and quiet moments, but on any given day, we're "on mission." Pair the general schedule of ministry with the seasons of ministry where people attack, sheep bite, and your home comes under assault, and ministry can feel like a spiritual version of the NFL (maybe it is?).
This can be daunting for a marriage, family life, personal joy, and team dynamics.
So how can we best (try to) protect our families and ministries from falling apart under all that weight? Beyond prayer and ensuring your time with the Lord is being protected, there are practical steps a pastor should take to strengthen the ministry at large. These can have a direct and positive effect on his home life.
Here are 3 ways:
1. Build a HEALTHY team
A healthy team is essential for a healthy ministry. Paul the Apostle was not a one-man-show, and neither are today’s healthiest ministers. Look at the lists of names in 2 Timothy 4, and Romans 16 and you will find name after name of Paul’s companions. In sports they say: “Teams win championships.” Spiritually speaking, teams win in ministry.
I have passed on multiple hirings in the past, waiting for the right leaders — because of team dynamics. Other times, I've thought someone was a silver bullet, but they turned out to be parasitic because they were more focused on self than the team (we can all be guilty of this sometimes!). It's not merely about talent, it's about the team. A healthy team makes for a healthy ministry where we can share the load, handle the pressure, and advance the mission because we're unified. A house divided cannot stand.
2. Establish a MISSION-MINDED culture
If you lack a mission-minded culture in your church, you will have infighting, self-focused conflict, uptight and unhealthy elders, and stagnant congregants. People will be over-opinionated and under-involved — full of controlling demands of pastors, without embracing Ephesians 4:11-12 themselves. They'll view the church as their business and prop themselves up as the "stock holders." Meanwhile, the rich folks do what they want without limitations, the needy get neglected, and the pastor is hindered. A mission-minded culture thinks "bigger" about ministry and understands the flexibility and partnership needed to advance the mission of God.
One theme that underpins healthy ministries, churches, and teams is this: “It’s not about me!” When the pastor and leaders unite under this banner, everyone wins, and the church gets stronger.
3. Give your family your BEST
Many times, ministry families get the scraps, while everyone shoots the dust to make the pastor dance (and he obliges lest he be jobless!). Instead of people-pleasing at the expense of your first ministry, set the tone that your family isn't going to be sacrificed on the altar of the church. You can do BOTH, but if the home isn't healthy, the pastor won't be. His zeal, effectiveness, and passion flow publicly when things are clicking privately. Whether it be vacation time, proper financial compensation (biblical), or ensuring coverage when he's away, think through how to be an ox (hard worker!) who can also nurture the home front.
If you want your ministry to thrive, or you are a church member who wants your leaders to thrive, focus on — and encourage —these 3 things behind-the-scenes.
A life of vocational ministry is not for everyone, but when you're called to it and surrounded by the right people, it's one of the most fulfilling purposes on planet earth.
