How to Find Wise Counsel

Every Christian needs it.
Wise counsel. Steady guidance. And someone who will disciple you and point you to Christ when you need clear direction.

But here’s the challenge: most people don’t know where to start. They either wait passively for someone to appear, or they chase after the loudest voices online. Yet, neither approach leads to the kind of godly wisdom Scripture calls us to pursue.

So how do you find wise counsel? Scripture provides us with the roadmap.

Pray First, Seek Second

Before you scroll through your contacts or start asking around, pray. James 1:5 reminds us that if we lack wisdom, we should ask God, who gives it generously. 

Wise counsel ultimately flows from the ultimate Counselor, so it makes sense that the first step is to seek the Lord.

Start by simply asking Him: “Would you bring someone into my life who will help me grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ?” You may be surprised how He answers.

Look for Proven Character

Remember that no amount of giftedness or charisma can replace godly character. So instead, look for faithfulness.

Paul told Timothy to entrust truth “to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2). Notice the order: faithful, then able.

So when searching for someone to disciple you, prioritize godliness over giftedness. A godly man or woman who has walked faithfully with Christ for decades—even if they’re not flashy, popular, or “influential”—will shepherd your soul better than the most dynamic personality who lacks character.

Go Where the Fruit Grows

Wise counsel doesn’t usually come from the sidelines. It comes from people who are already in the trenches and are bearing fruit in the local church.

Do they serve? Do they love people well? Do others trust them? Watch their life in community. That’s the soil where healthy discipling relationships take root.

It’s easy to admire someone from afar. But real discipleship happens up close. That’s why the local church (not podcasts, not conferences, and not social media) must be the primary place you look.

Pursue, Don’t Wait

Sometimes we treat discipleship like Amazon Prime: Shouldn’t it just show up at our doorstep?

But in Scripture, pursuit is the pattern. Elisha chased Elijah. Timothy followed Paul. And the disciples left everything to walk with Jesus.

So, if you want wise counsel, don’t wait for someone to notice you. Take initiative. Invite an older believer to coffee. Ask if they’d be willing to disciple you. And along the way, pursue humility, eagerness, and persistence.

Wise counsel is found by those who seek it.

Expect Truth, Not Affirmation

Proverbs tells us that the wounds of a friend are better than the kisses of an enemy (Proverbs 27:6). If all you’re looking for is affirmation, wise counsel is not actually what you want.

A true disciple-maker will correct you when you’re wrong, point you back to the gospel when you’ve drifted, and remind you of eternity when you’re living too comfortably.

At times, that loving correction will sting. But the sting is grace, and it heals, restores, and protects your soul.

Be Ready to Imitate

Discipleship is more than listening to advice. It’s imitating a life. Paul told the Corinthians, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

So, finding wise counsel isn’t just about hearing the right words; it’s about following the right examples. That means you must be close enough to see the rhythms, habits, and priorities of a godly life.

When you find someone worth imitating, latch on. Learn not just from what they say, but from how they live.

Let Scripture be the Final Measure

Even the best counsel is not infallible. Godly mentors, disciplers, and friends can all point you in the right direction, but their words must always be tested against the Word of God.

The Bereans give us the pattern. After hearing the apostle Paul preach, the Bible says that they “examined the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so” (Acts 17:11). If the Bereans tested Paul’s words, how much more should we test the words of those who disciple us?

Now, this doesn’t mean we approach counsel with suspicion. But it does mean that we approach it with discernment. The Word of God is the standard by which all advice is weighed. This means that if counsel aligns with Scripture, we can receive it with confidence. But if it drifts from God’s truth, we must graciously set it aside.

So, when you find yourself asking, “Is this wise counsel?” the ultimate question should be: “Does this reflect the heart and truth of God’s Word?” Counsel that meets the standard of Scripture can be received, not just as the words of men, but as the wisdom of God.

Discipleship’s Destination

This type of wise counsel is a gift. It doesn’t happen by accident, but it also isn’t complicated. So keep it simple: Pray. Look for proven character. Stay planted in the church. Take initiative. Welcome correction. Test the counsel you receive. And follow godly examples.

And never forget: the destination of discipleship isn’t the person you follow, but the Person they point you to. All faithful counsel leads here: to Jesus Christ, our Lord, who is the wisdom from God (1 Corinthians 1:24).