I'll never forget the first time I sat in a men's Bible study on a Saturday morning listening to a man unpack the importance of praying for your wife. I was honestly blown away by the simplicity of it all and how I had never thought to pray for her — and I mean, like really pray for her.
Most husbands have thrown the odd one-liners up to the heavens like, "Lord, help this woman" or "God, my wife is frustrating me, please fix her." But c'mon...we can do much better, and be more biblical than that.
The truth is, our wives need our prayers, and our prayers work!
It’s a Sin Not to Pray for Your Wife
The other day I was reading R. Kent Hughes’ classic, Disciplines of a Godly Man, and came across this section in his chapter on the “Discipline of Marriage” where he writes:
“Thus we understand that giving ourselves for our brides involves prayerful intercession. Men, do you pray for your wives with something more than, ‘Bless good old Margaret in all she does’? If not, you are sinning against them and against God. Most Christians who claim to love their wives never offer more than a perfunctory nod to their wives’ needs before God…praying is the marital work of a Christian husband!” (pg. 51).
That fires me up! And just for the record, I completely agree that it’s a sin not to pray for your wife because sin is defined as “missing the mark” and what could be more off the mark for a Christian husband than not to use the gift of prayer to intercede for your bride?
Love Her Like Christ By Praying for Her
In John 17 we find the High Priestly Prayer, and it’s loaded with petitions by Christ for the church. Is there a better argument that a husband should pray for his wife than to say, “If Christ loved the church and prayed for her, and I am called to love my wife like Christ loved the church, then I must pray for my wife as Christ prayed for the church!”
The natural question is then, what do I pray for? Brother, I’m glad you asked. Let me give you 8 things to pray and you can take it from there. Edit, adjust, and tweak this list to fit your wife, but no matter what, pray for her.
8 Things to Pray for Your Wife
Pray that she loves Christ above everything. That her affection for Him deepens, her confidence in Him strengthens, and her obedience flows from a heart that treasures Him. (Philippians 3:8–10)
Pray that she falls in love with the church. That she delights in gathering with God’s people, sits eagerly under His Word, uses her gifts to serve, and builds relationships that strengthen the body. Pray that she loves the people Christ purchased with His blood. (Acts 20:28; Hebrews 10:24–25)
Pray that she hungers for God’s Word. That Scripture shapes her convictions, corrects her thinking, nourishes her soul, and equips her to discern truth from error. (1 Peter 2:2; 2 Timothy 3:16–17)
Pray that she grows in holiness. That she recognizes sin, receives correction, repents sincerely, and increasingly displays the fruit of the Spirit. Pray with tenderness, remembering how much you need those same things. (Galatians 5:22–23; Colossians 1:9–10)
Pray that she trusts God with her fears and burdens. You may not know everything weighing on her heart, but God does. Ask Him to strengthen her faith, guard her mind, and teach her to entrust what she cannot control to His faithful care. (Philippians 4:6–7; 1 Peter 5:7)
Pray that she faithfully fulfills her God-given calling. That she has wisdom to order her priorities, joy in serving those entrusted to her care, and endurance when faithfulness feels exhausting or unnoticed. (Titus 2:3–5; Galatians 6:9)
Pray that God provides her with other godly women to walk alongside her. Women who tell her the truth, model spiritual maturity, pray with her, and encourage her to love Christ. Pray that she becomes that kind of woman for others, too. (Proverbs 13:20; Titus 2:3–5)
Pray that she is protected from worldly influences. That she recognizes the lies packaged as wisdom in social media, entertainment, and popular advice. Pray that she rejects anything that draws her heart away from Christ, breeds discontentment, or undermines her love for her family and the church. Ask God to renew her mind through His Word and surround her with people who encourage godliness. (Romans 12:2; Colossians 2:8; 1 John 2:15–17)
I pray this list gets you started on a practice that has blessed my marriage in ways too long to explain here, but I will tell you this: God works through prayer, and beyond anything we can do for our wives, our prayer life can be the greatest gift we ever give to them.
