When an Elder is Gossiping
Few sins destroy the unity and credibility of a church faster than gossip. When that sin comes from a member of the elder team—those charged to “shepherd the flock of God among you” (1 Peter 5:2)—it’s especially devastating. Gossip from an elder corrodes trust, divides people, and grieves the Holy Spirit. The church must take it seriously.
The Seriousness of the Sin
Elders are called to model godliness in speech and conduct (1 Timothy 3:2–3; Titus 1:7–9). Paul commands that elders be “above reproach,” which includes controlling their tongues. Gossip is the opposite—it weaponizes words to wound. Proverbs 16:28 warns that “a perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates close friends.” When the one doing the separating is a shepherd, sheep scatter.
Gossip is not always loud or obvious. It often hides behind “prayer requests,” “concerns,” or “venting.” But when an elder shares information (true or false) to malign another leader, or undermines someone’s character apart from direct conversation, that elder has stepped out of the will of God and into the devil’s playbook (James 3:5–6). Satan loves when shepherds tear at one another. He knows a gossiping elder will do more to divide a church than a thousand critics outside it.
How It Happens
Most gossip from leaders begins subtly.
Insecurity: A jealous or insecure elder may speak negatively about another’s influence or gifts.
Bitterness: An unresolved offense can turn into whispered criticisms.
Pride: A self-righteous leader may disguise judgment as discernment.
Lack of accountability: When elders don’t regularly confess sin to one another, pride grows unchecked.
Even well-meaning men can slide into gossip when they confuse “processing” with “poisoning.” Talking through an issue with humility and confidentiality is healthy; spreading it to others who are neither part of the problem nor the solution is sin.
The Biblical Response
Scripture provides clear direction for addressing sin by leaders. Paul told Timothy, “Do not receive an accusation against an elder except on the basis of two or three witnesses. Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest will be fearful of sinning” (1 Timothy 5:19–20). This means accusations shouldn’t be based on hearsay, but if confirmed, they must be handled publicly and biblically.
Confirm the facts. Gather witnesses or clear evidence. Do this without gossiping or slandering, and only involve people who are going to be witnesses and can verify the facts, not just your personal opinions. Avoid rushing to judgment based on emotion or rumor (Proverbs 18:13, 17).
Confront privately first. Following Matthew 18:15, go directly to the brother with gentleness and clarity. Ask questions before making accusations. If you come in hot, you’re going to ignite conflict rather than invite reconciliation and restoration. And if you go to other people (or groups of people) before confronting privately, you’ve gone outside of God’s order and have sinned. We don’t gossip about gossips. We go to them privately first.
If unrepentant, involve other elders. The leadership team bears the responsibility to protect the church’s integrity. If there is verified sin, and the individual is unrepentant, involve other elders. If they do repent, then it is on you to forgive and move on.
If repentance occurs, restore gently. Galatians 6:1 calls us to restore in a spirit of gentleness. Forgiveness is not optional.
If rebellion continues, rebuke publicly. This is painful but necessary. The fear of God must be greater than the fear of awkwardness. There may be times when an elder must be rebuked publicly because they are in unrepentant sin and need to be removed.
A gossiping elder who refuses to repent disqualifies himself. Paul’s qualifications in Titus 1:6–9 are not suggestions—they’re standards. A man whose speech repeatedly sows discord is no longer “above reproach.” Removal, though grievous, is an act of love for both the man and the flock. It’s discipline meant to produce repentance and protect the witness of Christ’s church.
The Damage It Does
Gossip erodes trust within an elder team and confuses the congregation. People begin to take sides. Leaders retreat into silence or politics. The focus shifts from shepherding souls to surviving factions. Before long, sermons lose power because hypocrisy has dulled the authority behind them.
Charles Spurgeon warned, “The tale-bearer carries a torch in one hand and a bucket of water in the other: when he is in a good mood he puts out the fire, and when he is malicious he kindles it.” Elders must never be fire-starters for malicious conflict, only godly confronters of sin and shepherds who oversee the spiritual health of the flock.
Unchecked gossip also teaches the flock a distorted gospel. If leaders slander, why shouldn’t members? If shepherds bite and devour, sheep will too. In the end, gossip from an elder profanes the name of Christ before a watching world (Ephesians 4:29–32).
The Way Forward
What should a church do if this sin has already caused damage?
Lead with repentance. The elder must own his sin publicly and specifically. General apologies (“I may have said some things I shouldn’t have”) won’t heal wounds. Honest confession restores credibility.
Rebuild trust slowly. Reinstatement should only occur after observable fruit of repentance and a season of humility.
Model gospel restoration. The church should forgive as Christ forgave (Colossians 3:13). Discipline that ends in grace showcases the beauty of the gospel.
Recommit to speech that edifies. Ephesians 4:29 must become the new culture: “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification.”
Final Word
The health of a church rises and falls with the character of its leaders. Gossip is not a small failure; it’s a breach in the dam. When an elder gossips, he damages Christ’s reputation, the unity of His body, and the souls he vowed to protect.
Let every elder remember: you were called to guard hearts. Speak life, defend the innocent, push out division, and model restraint. Shepherds should smell like their sheep—but they should sound like their Savior. “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6). That kind of speech builds a church that the gates of hell cannot tear down.
